So yesterday I realized that I don't have much time left with this new life inside of me. It really made me sad to know that I won't feel these kicks for much longer and I won't be able to use the excuse "Baby wants it" for all of the things that I want to eat much longer either. I also realized that I am going to miss the help that Nathan gives me because he doesn't want me to get hurt even though I am still very capable of doing these things on my own.
Because of this I decided to spend some quality time with baby in the evening. I read to it for awhile and then I took a bath and watched its movements make ripples in the water. It was a very precious evening that I will always treasure. I then spent a good part of the evening just praying for our little one and discussing the circumstances of this child with its creator. I still don't know any answers to the decisions that Nathan and I need to make and I still haven't heard the results to the MRI, but I can feel God's presence and know that in time all of the answers will seem obvious.
Thanks again for all of your prayers! This pregnancy is coming to an end soon and the next phase of our lives will then begin; whether it be grieving and healing or basking in a miracle that can not be proven by science. We don't know the outcome, but we will be okay.
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Crystal, my heart breaks into a billion pieces for you. I can't even imagine what I would have done had I not been able to take Dylan home. I am praying for you every day that God will give you the wisdom that you need to get through this hard time.
ReplyDeleteHow awesome that you are taking every second and cherishing it. And, like you, we are also praying for that miracle. But no matter what, God has you in His hands and is taking care of you.
ReplyDeleteYES you will be ok, God has promised! Hang on to that with all your might when the clouds of fear and doubt start to cover you.
ReplyDeleteCrystal, I admire your stregnth, you are a courageous woman!!
ReplyDeletePraying and thinking of you and baby daily.
Crystal and Nathan and little one, we are praying for you.
ReplyDeleteCrystal and Nathan, Just a note to say that you are being remembered by the Bethel Church family.
ReplyDeleteYour last entry is very moving.
Pastor Randy
I just want to say I admire the two of you very much! My heart aches as I read these entries and I believe that God has made you two so very strong to over come and battle this struggle.
ReplyDeleteThe way you need to picture your child is with the Lord Jesus, he will have the most precious set of wings with no pain and no suffering.
You should look at this as a blessing and you will get through it!
Praying for you and Nathan that you will be able to "Praise Him in the Storm"
ReplyDeletePraying for you on the loss of your beautiful baby boy. May you feel Jesus holding you in his hands.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful it is that now you have your child as you angel. Tears and Prayers are being shared with you. May God give you peace.
ReplyDeletePraying for you as you mourn the loss of your baby boy. Hope you feel God's arms wrapped around you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I'm praying that God will give you peace and strength to help you through this.
ReplyDeleteHello Crystal & Nathan
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and Prayers have been with you a lot
You have been a witness to who Christ is and how He carries us through tough stuff. Your entries have been amazing. You have been a Blessing. Praying for you as you greive your loss.
Tina
I have been reading your blog and thinking of you so much this week! Just wanted you to know that I admire your strength and pray you would find peace as you grieve. Your vulnerability is helpful to those around you and hopefully will help you heal. Thinking of you....
ReplyDeleteNathan and Crystal you are in our thoughts and prayers today. Praying God will meet you today and wrap His arms of love around you and your family.
ReplyDeleteLove you new counter. Still holding you guys up in prayer. Hope you are doing well physically.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with you. I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
ReplyDelete