I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Final Amnio Results

Great news!!!! All of the baby's chromosomes are in order and there are no extra and no less! This means that there is no known reason for the problems and that the chance of other babies having the same problems is unlikely. Praise the Lord!!! We just keep hoping for more good news to come! Thanks for your prayers. I have another appointment in Winnipeg next week Friday so I hope to have another ultrasound to see the baby. Technology these days is absolutely amazing! blessings!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Quick Amnio Results

So this is just a brief update. The quick amnio results came back normal, which is a huge relief for Nathan and I! This means that our baby doesn't have Down syndrome or any form of trisomy. I got a message yesterday while I was out that the results were in and I was extremely nervous to return that phone call this morning because I'm not sure that I can handle anymore bad news right now. Right now I am crying with relief and praise God that this baby doesn't seem to have any mental issues. The more indepth results should be in in about two weeks from now. These results will show any genetic disorders. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. My sister just gave Nathan and I a card with a verse in it. Nahum 1:7 "The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him." This is an encouragement!

Friday, July 3, 2009


I am now 22 weeks along in my pregnancy and I have been feeling wonderful! I haven't really had any morning sickness and have been able to eat anything I want. At my doctor's appointments everything has been normal. My blood pressure is great, I've been gaining the appropriate weight, and the baby's heartbeat has been in the 140s, which is normal. Because of this there was never even a question as to whether there were any problems with the baby. This was a planned preganancy so I wasn't doing anything to put this baby in any danger.

Last week Friday I had my first ultrasound in Winkler. Nathan and I were very excited to see the baby moving, since I haven't felt any movement yet, and to see that this is really a person living inside of me. We also wanted pictures to show family and post on Facebook for the world to see. I went into the ultrasound first by myself because that is how it is done in Winkler so that the technician can do all the preliminary stuff such as measuring the baby and the uterus. As she started I asked "so there is something in there right?" She said "yes" and we made small talk for awhile. Finally she asked me what my husband's name was and she went to get him from the waiting room. This took a couple of minutes and when they both came into the room the technician said that Dr. Jacobs would be in right away. This is when my heart sank because I know that when this is said on TV there is usually a problem. Dr. Jacobs came in and they moved the screen towards Nathan and I. They said that there seems to be problems with the baby's development. Then they began talking amongst themselves and pointing to the screen. I got really scared and Nathan started asking questions. They said that it was hard to see a lot of the baby and so they weren't sure on all the problems. The spine looked like it wasn't long enough and is seemed that the organs were developing outside of the stomach and the stomach wall didn't look like it was thick enough. I started tearing up and they continued by saying that they could only see one leg, the heartbeat was low, and the baby wasn't moving as quickly as it should. Nathan asked if there was anyway that the baby could be okay and they said that there would be an appointment set up at the Health Science Center in Winnipeg where we would have a more indepth ultrasound and would meet with a genetics specialtist. I was in shock and managed to hold in my tears. Dr. Jacobs also said that if we wanted to talk to my doctor we could immediately go to the clinic and do so. I went to the bathroom to empty my bladder and then we left the hospital to go to the clinic. In the car I began crying uncontrollably. This was the worst news I have ever received! We got to the clinic and my doctor didn't have much more to say so we left, still in shock. When we got home Nathan and I just held each other and cried. I didn't know what to do. I kept thinking this isn't fair! So many people who don't want children are having them and they are perfectly healthy. Here we want one so badly and it may not survive!
I called my mom as soon as I was able to and told her about the ultrasound and then I called my mother-in-law to do the same. They both didn't know what to say except that they would be praying hard for this little one. Nathan and I both sat for awhile just absorbing the news and trying to deal with it. We had planned on going camping for the weekend, but didn't feel much like going anymore. Finally I decided that we were still going because there was no way that I could sit at home and grieve for this child who is still alive. We went with Nathan's brother and fiance and they were a wonderful distraction for us, even though I was up crying most of that first night.

Yesterday we had our meeting with Dr. Reed at the Helath Science Center. We had a really tough time finding where we were supposed to go. When we finally got to the right building we sat down with a couple of doctors and were asked many questions to help them figure some things out. We were asked questions about our ethnicity, any relation between Nathan and I, whether I was drinking during my pregnancy, and our family history. Then the doctor was very direct and told us that the ultrasound that we were about to have done may show nothing wrong at all or enough wrong that the baby may not survive at all, or anything inbetween. They left us in that room by ourselves and went to set up for the ultrasound. I drank a bunch of water again, thinking that I needed to for the ultrasound and by this point I thought I might have an accident. When the doctor came to get us I asked if I could go to the bathroom and he said that I absolutely could. All that discomfort for nothing :) During this ultrasound Nathan was able to stay and we were able to watch the screen the whole time. It was so neat to see the heart pumping and the head. We also saw the hands moving and there are two legs with feet. After the ultrasound Dr. Reed met with us and explained that there is a bit of scoliosis in the spine, which means that the lower part of the spine is a bit curved, the diaphram has a hole in it and the stomach is growing into the chest cavity (Diaphragmatic Hernia), and there is a hole in the stomach wall so the intestines and the lower part of the stomach is growing in the umbilical cord (Omphalocele). Everything else is okay and if it was just one of these problems it could be fixable but all of these three problems together make it unlikely that this baby will survive. I am still amazed at how composed I remained during this meeting. I didn't shed a tear and asked a lot of questions. The baby is growing normally otherwise and the brain seems perfect. The whole body is moving and the heart is strong. there are five fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot.
We decided to also have an amniocentesis done right away. This is where they insert a thin needle into my stomach and take some fluid from the placenta. This is done to find out if there is a genetic reason for these problems and if there is anything else wrong that was not seen by the ultrasound. It was definitely not comfortable, but it was done quickly. Then Dr. Reed
did another, short ultrasound to make sure that the amnio didn't hurt the baby in any way. He also gave us two pictures of the baby which we will cherish forever.
Nathan had a really tough time composing himself during all of this. He explained it as "a kick in the nuts" and as "the worst day ever"! I couldn't agree with him more.
When we got home I again called both parents to share the news and before we went to bed I broke down. I am not a strong person and don't know how I will ever get through this. How can God give us something so precioius and then possibly allow it to get taken away from us so quickly?I know He has a plan for his little one. I just wish I knew what it was. We need everyone's prayers!

Telling The World We Are Pregnant!

On February 28th I took a home pregnancy test and found out that I am pregnant. I ran to the living to show my husband Nathan and we both grinned at each other and he felt my stomach. I was so excited that I went online right away and started making a list of all the names that I like. Nathan left to help a friend bring some stuff to the dump and while he was gone his brother and his brother's girlfriend showed up at our door with news that they are engaged! I called Nathan right away to come home and he was also told the news. We really wanted to tell everyone all of this good news but decided to keep ours a secret and to let Amy and Devin have their day. It was an extremely exciting day for us!!! The next day I showed my list of names to Nathan and he basically turned them all down so I had to start all over. While I continued to look Nathan suggested a few and we decided that two of his suggestions are the names that we will choose from, depending on the gender of the baby!

On April 24th I had both Nathan's family and my family over for supper saying that it was for my birthday which was on the 14th. After supper I brought out two gifts, one for my mom and one for my mother-in-law. I told them that this was an early Mother's Day gift. They both opened their gifts and saw the box with a picture of a digital wallet sized photo frame. My mom instantly said that she wanted one of these for her grandbabies. (She doesn't have any yet!) I thought she would catch on, but instead they both just looked at the boxes so I told them to open them and take a look. They both turned on the frames and the first picture that showed up was one with Nathan and I. They both smiled at this picture and then saw the second picture, which was of my pregnancy test. I believe they both screamed and jumped up to give us a hug. My dad caught on then, but Nathan's did was still oblivious to what was going on. Nathan's mom told him that he was going to be a grandpa and he said that he already was. (Nathan's sister has two kids.) So Nathan's mom said that he would be again and then he caught on. It was a very exciting and loud evening!